Several years ago, while out on a walk, my mind was doing flips about the current project I had on the go. I was “knee-deep in thought” as one of my friends used to say ~ spinning ideas about what I was hoping to achieve.
I was imagining how it would feel to realize the end result ~ how happy I would be to have reached that pinnacle.
To tell you the truth, I can’t even remember what the specific focus was at that point. But, I do remember, the insight that arose when I relaxed my mind for a moment.
Suddenly, this question popped into my mind. “Will I always be striving?” Once I had achieved this oh so important goal in front of me at that time, what would I be striving for next?
I realized that I had always been striving for something. There was never a time when I wasn’t reaching for something else ~ something beyond what was in my current reality.
I would land that job or achieve a certain level of fitness and instead of allowing myself to simmer in the celebratory energy of having arrived; I immediately began looking for the next thing. My bank account would grow to a certain pre-determined level, and it was still not enough.
In the state of striving, we can tap into the excited energy that motivates us toward our goal or vision. And this can be an exhilarating feeling. When we reach that place we are yearning for, if we don’t take a moment to receive the blessing and the gift, we are missing the full reward.
I reconciled myself that day to the fact that I would likely always be striving for something ~ that I wouldn’t feel fulfilled or happy if I wasn’t.
I don’t believe or accept that anymore.
Now, I am thinking more about the process and the journey. I am starting to realize that I am missing a big chunk of life if I am only focused on where I want to be or what I am working toward ~ only to get there and rip myself off of feeling the celebration before I move on to the next big thing.
After my mom passed this fall, I became very aware of how much time I would have left in this world should I be here as long as she was. It didn’t feel like enough.
The question about my ongoing need or desire to be striving toward something has altered.
How do I wish to live my life right now?
Those pinnacle moments only come a few times a year if we’re lucky. It can’t only be about that with everything in between just drudgery until we arrive.
I know we talk about this emphasis on the journey a lot. We are encouraged to enjoy the process for the experience itself as opposed to the outcome.
We hear about it. We know it logically. Do we actually live it?
Do you live it?
I am committed in this moment to living it.
I know I will continue to strive for certain things or experiences in my life. I am slowly replacing this drive to strive with a desire to create. I fully enjoy creative energy and I truly believe that we are all master creators ~ and we are always actively creating. I am happy now as I immerse myself in my creative experience whether it has a particular outcome or is simply connected to the creation of my day.
Gratitude for all that I have created in my life to this point helps me remain joyful and aware of the power I have to shape my experience.
I see my creativity as a channel that leads me to joy and peace in my life. I am a bit removed from my happiness when I disconnect from my creativity.
I am happy when I am creating.
Maybe, one day I’ll be able to say “I am happy when I am loving.”
Let’s get started!
How about you? What is your relationship with striving? Does it work for you?