The first time I heard about the Imposter Syndrome, I was debriefing with a colleague a few months into a new job teaching at my local community college. I had been talking about a low-grade sense of anxiety I had been experiencing within a few weeks in my new role. I had been waking up with that little knot in my belly most mornings and struggling to take a really deep breath on my ride to work.
Of course, with every class I facilitated, I would notice a bit of relief, until the next morning. And I wasn’t really talking about it with anyone, feeling sure it would pass; it was just the normal little jitters that we all experience at the beginning of a new venture.
As I explained what I had been experiencing and giving voice to some of the thoughts in my head – the ones that told me it’s only a matter of time before they realize they made a mistake, my colleague diagnosed me. “You’ve got imposter syndrome!” As soon as I heard the phrase, I could relate and I knew the nail had been hit on the head.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
In a nutshell, imposter syndrome has a number of symptoms including the overwhelming feeling that you don’t know what you are doing, that you don’t belong wherever you find yourself, that somehow you are fooling people right now, but that won’t last – you’ll be discovered and run out of town.
It can be accompanied with a sense of isolation – in fact, you might even actively create that isolation thinking that you need to solve it all yourself. Perhaps, you are afraid to ask or you don’t know who is safe to ask.
You might be like me feeling a growing sense of anxiety and fear that takes the joy right out of this new chapter in your life. When this was happening in my life, I woke up one morning to realize that how I felt in this new dream job and how I thought I was going to feel were miles apart. I knew logically that I belonged there and I wanted to be there, but I couldn’t feel the joy of being there. I had allowed my insecurities and unworthiness to suck the life right out of this experience. Well, I did for awhile.
Turning Point
The conversation with my colleague that day helped me immensely. I figured if there was a “label” for what I was experiencing, I must not be alone, right? It wasn’t just about me. And that alone was soothing.
I felt that I had opened a door with my colleague that would be a source of ongoing support as I took the steps to more fully embrace my new role and got my sea legs back. And it did. By the time, my colleague moved on – which wasn’t that long – I felt much more stable and secure in my work and where I wanted to grow.
It’s All Relative
You might be able to relate to a similar experience in your own life. Maybe, you’re like me and you can see many bouts of imposter syndrome in your lifetime. I was able to reflect on many other times in my life – mostly career related and some personal – where I felt similar pangs. I think I was particularly shocked by the current experience because it was more intense and what I began to notice is that the symptoms of imposter syndrome were exacerbated in direct relation to how “big” I thought the leap was for me – how invested in the current dream that I was – how much I connected my success in the endeavor to my sense of self-esteem and self-worth.
Whenever you choose to grow – to stretch yourself – to up-level your game – to take on a new role, you will likely experience a minor or major flare-up. When you step outside of your current reality into something new, there will be a few shaky steps, a great deal of unknown, and a sense of disorientation.
So, here are a few guidelines to support you through your next bout of imposter syndrome:
Self-trust
Build up your sense of trust in your capacity to learn, to grow, to manage your emotions. Actively look for times in your life when you rose to the occasion and overcame any initial stumbling blocks. Be there fully for yourself first – one step and one day at a time.
Support Circle
Seek out and actively create your network in this new place as early as you can. This is easier for some than it is for others. For some of us, this social aspect can be as challenging as the job related duties are. So, be sure to stay connected to your sources of support outside of the situation and look for opportunities to create new relationships and alliances in the new situation.
Authenticity
You don’t have to fool anyone. In fact, this is probably the last thing you want to give energy to. It is draining at best and unsustainable at worst. Eventually, what is real becomes apparent. Speak your truth and ask for what you might need as soon as you possibly can. You will feel relief and you will begin to gather the resources you require to help you settle more quickly into this new space in your life.
Perspective
This can either be a hellish experience or it can be an exciting adventure – or maybe, somewhere in between. Be okay with the ups and downs that come with new things and learning curves. Be gentle – encourage yourself – adopt a perspective of curiosity – and expect the very best of yourself and others. And be sure to acknowledge your growth from within. You pay attention to all that is blossoming for you without expectation that others do the same.
Let’s get started!
Have you ever experienced Imposter Syndrome? I would love to hear your story and what you learned through the process.
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