Picking up from where we left off last week, here are some more strategies to help you really build momentum with self-care and self-expression within challenging work environments.
Create Safe Sounding Boards
What will it take to support each other in the ways we would offer support to someone accessing our services?
From a place of personal responsibility, begin to develop your resources. Find people within the organization and outside who can serve as a safe sounding board for you. Most of us do well to talk things through especially with someone who can relate to our experience. Sometimes, you might need to simply vent – hearing ourselves speak out loud can be a powerful way to manage the emotional labour involved in our work and to reveal our next steps.
When I say safe, I mean a few things. A safe sounding board is someone with whom you have developed a sense of trust and connection. You are comfortable and know that your information will be treated as precious material – kept in confidence with honour for your privacy. You also know that this person will hear you out without judgement.
You don’t have to censor or edit yourself; you can just let it rip! And finally, and a key element of the safe sounding board – this person will not jump on your bandwagon and egg you on with your plans to let someone else have it – they won’t bash the other person involved adding fuel to the fire. Nope! This safe sounding board will eventually help you to round the corner back to a place where you begin to forgive, let go, make decisions about what you need to do to resolve the situation. Your safe sounding board sees you as complete, whole and capable as well as human.
Be a safe sounding board for others.
Contribute what you feel is missing
What will it take for us to start the process? Don’t wait for someone else to do it?
Be proactive. This is a powerful way to demonstrate deep personal responsibility. Don’t wait for anyone else to do it first. If you feel that there is a lack of respect in your workplace, be the epitome of respect to everyone. Do not make people earn your respect. Just give it as a basic human right. You will find that something this simple can create a breakthrough in conflict situations or create synergy in brainstorming sessions.
If there is an atmosphere of gossip and back biting in the organization, adopt an approach of transparency – be direct – go to the source – let people know that you are uncomfortable talking about other people behind their backs.
Be loving kindness in the flesh. No matter what has happened in the past, no matter if there is a difference in opinion, no matter how ridiculous someone’s behavior might appear, be loving kindness. Seek to understand and get really curious.
Don’t wait for someone else to do it first.
Harassment is the new Bullying
What will it take for us to realize that rules and laws don’t stop bullying – they just drive it underground?
There’s lots of research out there about workplace harassment. Policies have been developed and adopted. There are laws in place to deal with those who engage in various forms of workplace harassment.
But, just like bullying in the playground, even when the rules are handed down from on high, we humans find ways to get around them. Bullying behavior goes underground, becomes more intangible and harder to detect. Sometimes, people who are targeted don’t even fully recognize what is happening to them and I think it’s safe to say that not all people who engage in bullying behavior have full awareness of their actions either – or at least the full impact of their actions on others.
At the root of the whole thing is fear and a desire to control and/or feel powerful. We are looking for power in the wrong places. This is power over others as opposed to power with others – something that can only develop as we learn to develop a sense of power within.
Look for the opportunities to take your power back in ways that leave you feeling, well…more powerful. You can change your experience and take care of yourself. Look for transformation within – watch how your perspective changes – observe how it becomes easier to speak your truth in ways that you feel good about – monitor your mood and your attitude towards work, the people you work with and the system you work within. Notice how you feel as you start your day and how you feel as you end it.
Adopt an attitude and willingness to understand the other perspective as you honour your own experience. You cannot contribute towards peace through fighting – it is just not possible.
Cultivate peace and loving kindness within your own heart and you will access the deepest stores of strength that you could ever find.
Let’s get started!
What is your most powerful tip for learning to thrive in a “toxic” work environment?
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