What happens when you get quiet to tune in and hate what you hear?

My Self-Directed Mini Retreat

I don’t know what I was thinking as I planned and entered into a self-scheduled and facilitated mini-retreat. Well, yes, I do. I expected to get still, tune in, and have a clear channel to my intuition – the guidance I felt so desperately in need of – so I could have a clear plan for my next steps. In other words, I had hoped to be for as quickly as possible so I could get back to doing.

It took me two full days to realize that I was hearing myself quite clearly – I just didn’t like it. Did I expect to get quiet and still and hear the sound of chimes and bells, maybe, some distant chanting, or some melodic tinkling peaceful music?

Well guess what? It sounded more like a screaming match or drunken brawl in a tavern on a busy Saturday night. And I didn’t like it.

The Benefits of Input

I connected with a good friend in our weekly Skype call and finally started to realize that I was hearing what I needed to hear. All the information that I had been soaking up like a sponge over the last several weeks began to seep into my awareness and led to an anxiety ridden sense of overwhelm and paralysis.

Mentally, I felt like I was doing something, but in reality, I wasn’t doing anything. I was as an old colleague used to say, “knee deep in thought.” Not taking action, not really listening, not letting myself be long enough to know. Just swirling in my mind like a hen with my head cut off. And all along hearing that I wasn’t doing it right – that I must be missing something – if I could just think long enough, I would get the answer I was seeking.

I had been getting the answers. I just wasn’t following the guidance. I would ask, “what’s next?”, get a clear answer and then sit there and do nothing. No wonder I felt stuck. I had been refusing to receive what was being handed to me on a silver platter. How rude.

Receiving the Guidance Fully

Guidance without action does not lead anywhere. In fact, that stifled energy just builds and builds until it actually feels like you are going to explode! As I listened to myself talk to my friend and listened to her response, I had breakthrough after breakthrough. Deep, juicy insights that I had been denying about myself and my process for some time now. I may not have a clear-cut guide for the next six months, but I do have clarity around the step in front of me and some of the gaps that I am experiencing in my life right now.

And that feels like movement. That feels like expansion. Pure, genuine, loving guidance.

Don’t put parameters around what you can receive or how you receive it. Be open. Let it show up as it does. Allow it to sift into your soul. Let your heart guide your head for awhile and know that you can trust this process to lead you to exactly where you are meant to go. Forgive the voice if it doesn’t say “please” or “thank you” – and know that if you were listening closely in the first place, a whisper would have been all that was needed.

Let’s get started!

Is there anything you are hearing that you would prefer to ignore? See if you can dig a little deeper and let it have voice.

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